And when it breaks!

Disclaimer: It is highly unlikely that any sentiments expressed in this short story in any way coincide with those of any other person in any way associated with me. It is purely my work of fiction. My Mind is back to work after a long vacation.

'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't breakeven, even, no
What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Cause he's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks, no, it don't breakeven, even!

This day that year -- 

The alarm rung, I realized the last thing I remember were the above lines echoing before I slipped to sleep.  I cursed the alarm for breaking my dream where I was trying to tie all the loose ends before it is too late. I was trying to get answers for all the questions. I was haunted by the past. I wasn't getting over it. Even before I could knock the correct doors to get any answers my alarm resounded.

I chose on dismissing and was laying on the bed remembering the last encounter. Just realized my presence did not matter and that let me know that nor did my absence made any distinction. That brain which is literally brainy understood all of those, nonetheless the very busy and sensitive heart did not buy any of it. It just stayed there madly and deeply.

The brain signaled something.  I could not resist but react immediately. Quickly got ready, unlocked the bicycle and reached the University campus. One last subject to get the grades to graduate from the well-known University. There are many reasons to live life happily. But the (bloody) heart does not allow me to. However, I wrote that test as per my brain's command. I also knew that my parents take pride in my success. I'm going to be the first post graduate from my family and that too from World's top university. Just a few more months before I see my home and my people.

Killed a couple of months in despair. Doing things I'm best at were tumbling apart to realize how lousy I have turned out to be. And today after I rehearsed a thousand times, on the dais my motivational address for my juniors turned out to be a mess and I ended up saying something unexpected :
"I wish that I had never met you.
Then there would be no reason to impress you, no need to want you.
No need for loving you, No need for crying over you.
No need for heartbreaks, No need for pain or tears.
No need for forgotten promises, No need for acting like you care.
No need, for everything you've done to make me feel like absolutely nothing."

My close friend walked straight onto the dais and dragged me out of the stage. I had not realized what had I done. I blindly trudged out of the amphitheater just to pose for a picture with a flying graduate hat. So that I continue to make my parents feel proud. As I walked by the restaurant in the campus, I saw you Mr.! You walked with another person with the same camaraderie we shared.

A few years have passed by, nothing has changed except you and my fate. Today, as I type in this letter outside my psychiatrist's cabin how I wish I had never met you.

Receptionist : Ms. Astha.
Me: Hey, I'm here.
Receptionist: Ma'am you can walk in the doctor's room in 2 minutes.
Me: How many today?
Receptionist: Ma'am 3. You may choose to meet them based on your convenience of time.
Me: Cool!

I walk into the doctor's office and get startled to see you and I stand still . The doctor suggests me to sit next to him so that I can talk to you. Today, I'm here to help my cousin to counsel some of his tough nut patients. And you are here too, but you are here with all the broken pieces just because Karma never forgets any address. I see that you are falling into pieces and that very thing saddens me.

So here I say, "I'm Ms. Astha. I'm here to help you and you may please count me as your friend so that I can help you completely." First time in years, I was forcing my brainy brain to use the word Friend to my client whom my bloody heart refused to call as Friend. Well, my heart no longer even treats you as one. But I will still help you because I know when the heart breaks, you breakdown too!

And when a heart breaks, no, it don't breakeven, even!  -- Astha!

#Fiction03
Breakeven

--V