Why being an Aunt is the best job ever?

Kids are amazing little things. They are honest, fun, cool, strange and endlessly surprising. All in all, they rule your world, no matter what. A few years ago, while I was a fresher in an IT company and was newly deployed into my first project, I often ran home just right on time. Because I was a new Aunt back then. I had just started living in Bengaluru with my Cousin and family.

Someday at Office:

Manager: Hey you need to stay back late and finish this work. You might as well be expected to work on Saturday.

Me: What? Why and How can I?

Manager: I'm Sorry. What was that?(Clueless )

Me: No I can't stay back late, I stay far away, My Bhabhi must be waiting, I get scared going in late night Cab, blah blah blah

Manager: (Clueless again)

Me: I need to go early, 'coz my niece sleeps by 08:30. I need to be there.

Manager: Oh! Isn't the mother with her? (Sympathetic)

Me: She is there, but I need to play with the baby. (Sigh! - I said that; Oh Damn! - Why I said that?)

Manager: Finish this before you go (Angry)

Some Aunt somewhere said -- "Aunthood: it is powerful; it redefines your identity. It really is a state of calling - a calling that is completely out of your control." When I first became an Aunt, I was so ecstatic. It was an out of the world feeling. But-but-but, Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. They make you feel so proud and also embarrass you in the crowd.

The purity of the affection that you receive is unlike any other form. All in all, you get to live your childhood once again. You can make a good impact on the so-called mini-me you see in them.

1. Some random kid calling you as Aunty is the worst thing ever, at least until you are already an Aunt

2. The first time you see your niece or nephew is the best feeling ever. But the first time you see them you are a blubbering fool. What’s this crying business? Eyes. Stop. Now. You’re embarrassing me.

3. Aunts be the coolest chicks ever right?  Giving the kid everything hiding from mom?

4. Any room is a panic room if you've lost a baby in it.

5. The priorities change. You run home so quickly for you are up to something. Being an Aunty has been one of the most rewarding things I have ever encountered.

6. You become super protective over the child, which isn't even your own and it isn't even been long yet.  You are jealous of people whoever wants to hold the baby.

7. You can spoil the kid to the greatest. You can do all the crazy kid stuff without looking like a creep.

8. You learn the art of buying baby clothes, giving a bath and changing the diaper. You get a taste of having a baby, but you get to sleep at night, unlike the new parent.

9. Kids are so honest. You are not funny Aunty!

10. Kids be the best and call you by the cutest of names.When you hear from the new mommy, that baby called you as Aunt(Maasi, Aasi, Aanthi, Pinthu)

11. Because Mumma keeps dressing up baby, you get to see the every new picture while you are in the middle of a meeting and you can't help but keep smiling.

12. Being an Aunt is no easy Job - Baby showers, Naming Ceremony, and Birthday Parties become Compulsions

13. Any expecting mother you bump into, you can speak the fluent maternity language. The other day a friend told me about weekend Scan- I ended up asking if it was her first-trimester Scan. She was pleasantly surprised.

14. You know all the rhymes in youtube now. Cartoon Network and Pogo becomes your favorite channel too. You know what is happening with Chota Bhim, Chutki, Motu, Patlu, Nobita, Doraemon etc.

15. Because there is a baby at home, automatically the home becomes accident prone zone.

16. The neighbor's kid is a nuisance no matter what.

17. Saying No and Asking the kid to behave in the public is such a difficult task.

18. When the time flies. It's just not that kid is growing up quickly it also means we are getting older.

19. Your sister/friend repeatedly asks - "So when will you get married? Even the kid is asking when is Maasi getting married". Oh yeah! tell the kid she is asking you to join the school soon.

20. Kids are the funniest people on Earth. You can pass on your wisdom to them and feel proud about it.

21. The experience of being an aunt prepares you to be a mom of your own mini-me someday.

Love,

V

 

15 Crazy Year End Confessions !

My brother once said, Year 2016 is the Monday of all Years.  I silently wondered if he meant to say it is like that Monday Blue which almost everyone goes through or if it is that same Monday which passes by pretty quickly. Anyways who even likes to talk about Mondays? At least I don't. This year almost ended, the sun is going to go out in about 4 billion years(probably), and right now I'm sitting and acting like everything is fine.

This crazy year I tell you was one roller coaster ride. That doesn't mean the previous ones weren't. So many ups and downs, so many let go(s), so many let it be(s), so many new things, so many surprises and so on. Isn't it great to live in the 21st century? Where deleting history has become more important than making it. Well, I would like to have some history stored and not delete everything. It is time and again we now need to bid farewell to this great or not so great year(to anyone else). Let's say Bye!

However, now that the year is about to end in about 24 hours, I would like to make some honest confessions.

    1. Dear 2016, all that time I saved by typing u, r, k etc instead of You, Are and OK -- Those seconds did not add up as an additional top-up in my year and I'm very upset about it.

    2. I finally realized that -- We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour.

    3. I need to hire an investigator who would probably at the end of next year find out what I did this year long.

    4. Every time I asked someone when and where, to be honest, I was not supposed to ask when because I, however, reached an average 30 minutes late each time.

    5. I honestly tell you, If I had a husband at least by this year - I would have drafted his New Year's Resolutions by this time. He would run away anyways.

    6. I spent another complete year at an IT Company which is part of your(2016's) lifespan -- I never stopped cribbing about it like never.

    7. Every time the horoscope said "Dress nicely, Be prepared for a coincidental meeting with that new interesting person" -- You guys writing fancy lines in the name of horoscope you will not die a peaceful death, Karma will haunt you someday. 

    8. Everything New is welcome and every let go is now a History.

    9. I was often told I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.

    10. And everyone who ever told me Money Speaks -- I just want to let you know Mine only said Good Bye.

    11. I always thought I will retire after 5 years in IT, I'm such a loser I'm still stuck onto it at the end of 6th year.

    12. The much hyped Demonetization barely made any difference to me, But I was taken by surprise when the not so popular moms across the nation declared their unaccounted income. .

    13. I once thought, what an interesting thing internet is and how blessed I am to have a high-speed internet. But that has only cut down my sleep and increased dark circles. You go away 2016 and I will only become a better person next year(hopefully).

    14. Amazon, Myntra, and Jabong only got richer day by day with my regular peanut sized contributions.

    15. How I ended up to be a maid, cook and owner of the house and how sure I'm to continue to be the same time and again. Except for now there is no raising a kid!

Happy Year End!!

Regards,

V

That Long Distance Relationship!

Relationships are both merrier and painful at 2 different instances. No story is picture perfect. Every story has its own times of joy and testing times. In a nutshell, they are complicated, touch wood mine was never.

Every time I received a call from my contacts as Dortmund, people next to me always wondered who was it. Some of them gave me a weird smile and a Ohh hoo, some of them raised their eyebrows and some of them left me to be at my peace. And I never failed to ignore. Most of my afternoons a couple of years ago had a regular status update calls to this person. Seldom I quietly walked out of my workspace, took a water bottle to refill, gave my updates and walked back to my desk. I had made it a habit or more like a routine.

I remember times, when people unnecessarily teased me while I was on calls, I had nothing to say but just say what nonsense? And walk away. They thought I was blushing then. Lol. I wondered why on earth would I blush? On the other side, Dortmund asked me why was I laughing. I would tell the stories of things that happen around me while I answer Dortmund's call. Dortmund would laugh and say Ignore it baby, so would I.

Dortmund: Baby change my contact name please.
Me: Aye ja be!
Dortmund : <Eye-rolling smiley! And a silent GL please.>

This happened only on 3 different occasions. I was very politely asked to change the contact name, I respectfully disagreed to do so. Later I was never even asked to do, in-spite of people doubting on us to the moon and back.

Our initial days of skype calls were crazy:

                           
Every time Dortmund flashed on my phone, someone made fun of me. Except people who were nearly close to me as Dort. Most of the times before I made purchases online, the links and pictures were sent to Dort. Until the approval/suggestions came from miles away, the product was just left in the cart.  So friends of mine asked if Dortmund selected it for me, I said no, but I showed it before buying it.

            

My world is so incomplete without this person. Distance has never been a villain except for a very few occasions. When I was pale and sad, I wanted a shoulder for real but however bestie was always there virtually. Spoke for hours and made me a better person in a few hours. I thanked God for having my personalized angel as he couldn't always be around. But I couldn't thank Dortmund enough because the response I always received for every thanks was - "Aye ja be"

Time zone is a matter of concern many a times. I doze off much before the other person.  I ask about lunch, while the person miles away is just up and yet to have breakfast. The last night, I had to wake myself at 03:30 am-ish just to make sure I'm wishing at 12:00 am, while I was terribly sick with a damaged wrist.

Just so that everybody knows, Dortmund is a name of a place in Germany. I did not know of the place only until my Bestie got the admission at TU Dortmund. Unless you really really know me well, you wouldn't really know who my Bestie is. After having relocated from Dortmund to Zutphen, the contact name still remains the same. I like Dortmund more, maybe. Bestie does not even mind any longer.

At times, our conversations be like :
Me:  Come we'll marry each other and it's even legal!
Dortmund : The Society is not ready for that yet.
Me: We'll adopt a child and a pet.
Dortmund :  You'll take care of both but.
Me: Yeah ok :)
Dortmund : Ok! Wouldn't that still be a long distance relationship ? Lol!

Dortmund knows all those stares I possibly get in the bus for the commitment that lasts for years. Be it a phone call or WhatsApp chat. I do smile while I respond, but trust me, I ain't blushing. Best Friend is the greatest gift that one could ever get. Mine is exceptionally the great one.  I get all the energy in the world when I'm down just when I have this person with me. We don't even have a lot many pictures together. Maybe we were too busy in living today and forgot to make memories with pictures. Nonetheless, being there when needed the most is all that matters.

Random conversations be like :D

Happy Birthday to the only girl I know who is almost as crazy as me. I know, how hard it is to be humble :) You are charming, compassionate, intelligent and strong - maybe just because you are my best friend. Oh yeah, I'm being humble all over again :) Did we agree upon the terms, best friends are supposed to share everything with each other? So I'm celebrating and sharing your birthday with you like my own. Your age is just a reminder of all the amazing years we spent together.

Madam, Just so that you remember all over again, the first day of our college, we met unexpectedly and the first thing we did together was go to a Canteen instead of the class at P.C Jabin's. All the weird things happen for a reason, so did we happened to each other. Thanks for jumping in joy with me and sobbing when I cried rivers. I know, you have been equally humble by being there and tolerating all the mood swings of mine. And there is no escape, you know. In this roller coaster called life, being able to lean and rely on someone is one of the best feelings out there. Not a PDA, but yeah I do love you only as much as you do :D You decide as to how much :P

Happy Birthday !!

Love,
V

And when it breaks!

Disclaimer: It is highly unlikely that any sentiments expressed in this short story in any way coincide with those of any other person in any way associated with me. It is purely my work of fiction. My Mind is back to work after a long vacation.

'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't breakeven, even, no
What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Cause he's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks, no, it don't breakeven, even!

This day that year -- 

The alarm rung, I realized the last thing I remember were the above lines echoing before I slipped to sleep.  I cursed the alarm for breaking my dream where I was trying to tie all the loose ends before it is too late. I was trying to get answers for all the questions. I was haunted by the past. I wasn't getting over it. Even before I could knock the correct doors to get any answers my alarm resounded.

I chose on dismissing and was laying on the bed remembering the last encounter. Just realized my presence did not matter and that let me know that nor did my absence made any distinction. That brain which is literally brainy understood all of those, nonetheless the very busy and sensitive heart did not buy any of it. It just stayed there madly and deeply.

The brain signaled something.  I could not resist but react immediately. Quickly got ready, unlocked the bicycle and reached the University campus. One last subject to get the grades to graduate from the well-known University. There are many reasons to live life happily. But the (bloody) heart does not allow me to. However, I wrote that test as per my brain's command. I also knew that my parents take pride in my success. I'm going to be the first post graduate from my family and that too from World's top university. Just a few more months before I see my home and my people.

Killed a couple of months in despair. Doing things I'm best at were tumbling apart to realize how lousy I have turned out to be. And today after I rehearsed a thousand times, on the dais my motivational address for my juniors turned out to be a mess and I ended up saying something unexpected :
"I wish that I had never met you.
Then there would be no reason to impress you, no need to want you.
No need for loving you, No need for crying over you.
No need for heartbreaks, No need for pain or tears.
No need for forgotten promises, No need for acting like you care.
No need, for everything you've done to make me feel like absolutely nothing."

My close friend walked straight onto the dais and dragged me out of the stage. I had not realized what had I done. I blindly trudged out of the amphitheater just to pose for a picture with a flying graduate hat. So that I continue to make my parents feel proud. As I walked by the restaurant in the campus, I saw you Mr.! You walked with another person with the same camaraderie we shared.

A few years have passed by, nothing has changed except you and my fate. Today, as I type in this letter outside my psychiatrist's cabin how I wish I had never met you.

Receptionist : Ms. Astha.
Me: Hey, I'm here.
Receptionist: Ma'am you can walk in the doctor's room in 2 minutes.
Me: How many today?
Receptionist: Ma'am 3. You may choose to meet them based on your convenience of time.
Me: Cool!

I walk into the doctor's office and get startled to see you and I stand still . The doctor suggests me to sit next to him so that I can talk to you. Today, I'm here to help my cousin to counsel some of his tough nut patients. And you are here too, but you are here with all the broken pieces just because Karma never forgets any address. I see that you are falling into pieces and that very thing saddens me.

So here I say, "I'm Ms. Astha. I'm here to help you and you may please count me as your friend so that I can help you completely." First time in years, I was forcing my brainy brain to use the word Friend to my client whom my bloody heart refused to call as Friend. Well, my heart no longer even treats you as one. But I will still help you because I know when the heart breaks, you breakdown too!

And when a heart breaks, no, it don't breakeven, even!  -- Astha!

#Fiction03
Breakeven

--V