A letter to Daddy!

Daddy Dearest,

Daddy is what I've always fondly called you. If I could ever write something thoughtfully , that would be the greatest ever told. For I would write about you Daddy, who was a man with Golden heart. I don’t know what you were to the entire world but a very special person to my own world.

The values that you have instilled in me are the ones that let me be who I am and be a strong person I could ever be. When people say - "Like Father, Like Daughter" that's the best thing I could ever ask for. I gleam with pride every time someone says - You are just like your Daddy.

Today after 15 years of your absence,  I have still memories of you afresh in my mind. So My dear Daddy my best ever gift to myself is the ability to recall the gift of your brief presence in my life. Perhaps, if you think I missed a lot of things, I would only say, Life's lessons you have taught me are engraved in my heart.

Without the very presence of you in my heart, I wouldn’t be the person I'm today. I'm glad I picked up all that you showered upon me as lessons. You are that one in a millions type of Dad, who has led the secure foundation of my life. I feel your love and presence wherever I go. You are that shining star of my universe. If God ever sends a line of Fathers, I would search for you from the crowd and make you mine all over again.

You never looked for praises, you never boasted anything. For you did everything  for us and left so hurriedly, I couldn't just tell you that - "You were my hero and you have always been. I loved you then, and I love you even more now. Happy Birthday Daddy"

Sitting and gazing back to the farthest ever I can recall,
Your Little Girl V

That Tall Handsome Man!

A shiver runs through me thinking of him. Everything about him is so special and so unique. He is always been appreciated by many. Every other acquaintance of him I personally met had something to tell about him. Tons of things I learnt through his acquaintance about him made me feel more special. He was like that magical rock, to whom everyone went with their problems. And that includes me too. I call it "Happiness for real", ignoring all the tears I shed.

I recently attended a family friend's wedding. It was obvious to meet many known people. Initially, I was hesitant to face a lot of them but I eased through it. I entered the function hall in a blue silk saree and greeted so many uncle and aunties with hands folded. More than half of them said, "Oh look who is grown up, the little Pinky". I was shy! And they said, had he been here, wouldn't that be great? I nodded my head in acknowledgement.

Memories and people from the past can be pleasant and at times equally painful. If you decide to smile at the odds, you will have only the pleasant thoughts greeting you. A little later, a lady in her late 50s came to us. She was gentle and kind. She smiled and asked my mother "Vahini(word used to address a woman as sister-in-law) how are you?". My mother responded to her and wished her for the "Rashtra Prashasthi". "Had he been here, he would be over the moon. wouldn't he?" asked the lady. She started to narrate a small story of hers.

"I was earning Rs. 400 per month in a private school then, it was he who got an application form. He filled it up neatly and pushed me out of the house to submit the application. I then submitted the application and joined the Government services. He ensured to see that I get the joining within Hubli taluk. No less than a God to me, while my Maithili and Vaidehi were little kids. Tears were rolling constantly as she continued to speak. There was this other man standing there along with us, who now silently fled the sight. She said, what kind of a friend is this person? He doesn't have a little patience to hear about his own friend. Meanwhile, other women there opened up to say "No wonder why you are such a kind and helpful woman, were you not there, we would not get to eat a meal a day". She stated, it is he who made my life and, in turn, yours'. I will remain thankful to him till my eyes close forever.

Now that I had spent more than half a day in hearing appreciations of this man, I went into a series of flashbacks. This one is a simple yet small one:

It was a summer evening, I had returned home after visiting a friend on a Saturday noon. For reasons unknown, I'm a games freak. I played a lot of it and returned by evening. I saw this man resting on the bed and I jumped on the bed. Silently sat on his "little-big-tummy". He opened his eyes and asked what I wanted. Little hesitant and scared as I was at the moment, I said "Video Game". Little did I know, what was coming - I just put forth my demand. Till then, there were no instances I ever dared to demand anything. I was a low maintenance child then. He calmly walked out of the room and freshened up and dressed up smartly with shirt neatly tucked in, a rare collection watch, footwear polished so well to shine and combed with few Bajaj Almond drops. I assumed my demand was blindly rejected, I went and sat in one of the corners of the room. He then came over and asked If I was ready yet? I looked here and there and grinned instantly. Jumped out of the bed and dressed up in no time. That evening, I got my first 'Brick Game' Home. What a delight that was.

Although he was very strict yet he was jovial, very disciplined yet super cool; he was witty yet he was kind and caring. And he was my Hero.

That Tall Handsome Man is My Father!

 The most important influence in my childhood was my father.My father was my teacher. But most importantly he was a great Dad. Today as I write this memoir, I apprehend it is exactly 15 long years, that I've lived only with the memories. There is a complete void in me. Today, when I hear all the great stories by others that he never mentioned to us, I wish I could thank him enough for all that he was. I wish I could tell him I how much I admired him. I wish I could bring him back. I wish he could hold me before I fall. I wish he punished me when I broke the rules. I wish he could shine with pride over my success. I wish and I wish!!

I want to hug him for once and say "How much I missed him for all these years". I revived all those special remembrances his friends shared with us. He left footprints of kindness wherever he went. I now wonder about those, whom my father supported, took care of, educated, nurtured and made a good human-being. Benevolence begins at home, yes it indeed. As I recall, there were a number of relatives and family friends who lived in my house along with us, like us and completed their education. But there are many more untold random acts of kindness. Today, I feel my dad must be happy, wherever he is as he see them successful.

I still wake up with dreams of my Dad visiting us in his vacations, I still get frightened to talk to him looking straight into his eyes in my dreams. I still wish that was real. I still feel proud for he was multitalented. I still wait to sleep only to see him again. There is a deep-seated need to fill the unfillable void. But I'm sure the strongest guy I ever met would never want to see me broken.  

In the walk of life,
We pass joys and pain.
There will be sunshine and rain;
There will be loss and gain.
But we must learn to smile again and again.

My first article about the most dignified and the noble soul. Had he been here he would have gracefully aged with gray hair and nearing to his retirement life. But he rather resides in each of us in my home. And now I know, why there is a little bit of heaven in my home :)

-Love,
That Tall Handsome Man's Daughter :)